Aestheticism

This free-write-style blog comes courtesy of my brother's blog about asceticism. Reading it was an epiphany moment. I am an Aesthetic. It's good to have a title to categorize a part of my brain. It gives me a sense of identification. I had to look up the definition and associated strongly with the following statements:

As an adjective:
1. having a sense of the beautiful; characterized by a love of beauty.
2. of or concerning the appreciation of beauty or good taste.
3. pertaining to, involving, or concerned with pure emotion and sensation as opposed to pure intellectuality.

As a noun:
1. an exaggerated devotion to art, music, or poetry, with indifference to practical matters.
2. devotion to and pursuit of the beautiful; sensitivity to artistic beauty and refined taste.

For those who know me, you realize how obsessed I get about art. I always felt I got the short end of the stick. I was never good at art and yet I appreciate it to excess. I routinely feel the appreciation of art is often wasted on many people. If appreciating art could be an art I would be a Master artist. Everyone knows I love beauty products and fashion as a means of expression. I stop in my tracks to watch a cool cloud go by, even if it means I'm going to be late. Photographs are exciting and incite jealousy and envy in me. I'm overly passionate and stop to ponder the sensations I feel on a frequent basis. A pivotal moment was when a philosophy professor stated what an interesting sensation it was to feel sick. Bad sensation leads to a better appreciation of good sensation. In high school I wore hemp in my hair to show that, while everyone said "I love the outdoors," I truly LOVED the outdoors and respected it in all its terror and majesty. I never understood why people will say they love the outdoors if they have no idea what that means.

I don't see myself as vain. I belive in beautification and fashion and feel comfortable doing it. In fact, I find it thrilling. I would likely feel fine about spending more on such things.

I have my own philosophy of what "beautiful" is. I think silly things are beautiful. I've even thought traditionally plain or ugly things are beautiful. I believe in the terms beautifully sad and tragically beautiful. I wish I were able to be more expressive and creative. I love anything unique.

I have a knack for finding the new trend before it hits pop culture as the new "trend."

You could put two pictures of something I've never seen before and ‘instinctively’ I will pick the more expensive item as the one I like, never seeing the prices. I don't know why.

I can tell you right away what is worth your time to buy or invest in the realm of fashion and beauty and what is crap. I know quality when I see it. You don't have to pay $$$ for crap. I've got a whole philosophy on this as well. I still don't think of myself as shallow or vain because of it.

Never over spend. Never under spend. Both are a mistake. It's important to realize the difference.

I don’t view myself as overly materialistic in my opinions or necessities and find it all to be just stuff in the large scheme of things but I appreciate it nonetheless.

I toy with the idea of selling all my "stuff" to live simpler as often as I do with buying "stuff". Having things makes life more convienent but a lot less simple and I'd rather just travel around with few things than a lot of things.

On overnight trips I've taken just what I can get through security check in my purse and a zip lock bag and not used all that I brought and I've taken luggage stuffed full and not brought enough.

In no particular order: I believe feeling beautiful makes you confident. Looking trendy is not feeling beautiful. I believe beautiful people get a lot more "freebies." That irks me. I believe people who are truly shallow or vain or out to follow the trend are only experiencing life 10%. I rarely shop at the mall. I avoid showing off labels when I can. I absolutely adore inconspicuously or untraditionally placed labels, logos, designs, etc. I will buy a pair of jeans at DI for $4 and a pair at a designer for $150 because they are the same high quality. Low prices or high, designer or not, makes no difference to me. I maintain that you can pull off any look as long as you "wear it like you mean it." Most people don't wear it like they mean it. I see henna, fashion, houses, décor, people, and food as art too. I would love to be "artful" in this way. I would have a small well decorated comfortable home over a big one any day. Not having a lot of money to channel into aesthetic endeavors often produces remarkable results. If you can't live without money, how can you live with money?? When I see something aesthetically pleasing, it makes me happy...likely a chemical reaction in my brain. When someone plays the piano I forget what I'm doing and drown myself in the music. I stopped breathing when I first heard Rachmaninoff play Rachmaninoff. Going to the symphony sucks me in entirely and completely. It’s a weakness. That's how crazy I am about music. I’m nearly as crazy about movies. I tear up when I see Disney’s recent Earth preview every time. I think it’s that beautiful. Everyone else doesn’t see it. I want people to see what I see. I routinely have to do some art project just for the fun of it. No, I'm not good but I want to create. Art is what gets said when you don’t have words to say it. My sense of what I consider beautiful is the same way. Being out in nature is the most beautiful experience. And that makes me happy.

Beacuse I devote an entire blog to this demonstrates the emphasis and role I value aesthetics. While others may find more intellectually stimulating topics of ethics or morality of importance, I write because I see relevenace and philosophical sense in "experiencing one's existance" and examining: What really is the Ideal to a person? It would not be possible to experience my existance or recognize my ideal without aesthetics and emotion.