Wednesday, August 18, 2010


Twenty eight and single by choice. Sometimes, with considerable effort. It's not that I am opposed to the Significant Other, I just have trouble finding one worth leaving my single life for. After years of dating and boyfriends and being happily in a relationship, it was a huge challenge to find happiness in my late twenties as a single person. Far past my prime for singles wards and Mormon culture. I learned not to care. I am happy anyway.

Boys like me. All the time. I don't play the game and I don't put up a false pretense. Either I like you or I don't. I only date one person at a time and will give it a good effort. I'm not sold on the idea of dating for fun because I left that phase of life years ago but I also don't date only for The One. I go with the flow, if it works, it works. If not, okay.

I don't up sell. I'm an idealist that my Significant Other will be the type who doesn't need up-selling and packaging. Who will like me for who I am not what I can list off or what I look like. I find a lot of non-Mormon men, the No-Mo's, constantly chase after me. As for the men in my ward, it's a serious challenge to even get a date. I don't get it. I'm out of the league of the men who chase me and too lowly for the time of ward men? The men who are supposed to be looking for the Good ones; the ones who aren't shallow.

Next time I will tell them, who am I? Well, I tested in the 99th percentile in school. So I guess I'm smart. I lobbied the Utah Congress for 5 years. I attended leadership training in Washington DC. I've flown all over the continental U.S. I danced my way into my high school dance company without  formal training, THE dance company until the damage I did to my feet over the years caught up to me and my dreams of dancing were over. I played guitar. Well. I was asked to create a band and perform assemblies in Jr high. A former CEO announced to the company: "I am promoting her to be my personal assistant because there is nothing she can't achieve. Watch her." I'm not unattractive. I've been told I have an excellent personality and my priorities are pretty solid. I'm dedicated to practicing my religion and have earned respect for it from the most Anti I have ever met. I've spent more than 10 years of my life volunteering. It's my hobby. I've dated ph'd's, the then-#3 US fencer in saber and foil, an engineer, an institute teacher, the EQP, a poster boy for the Air force,  an Army intelligence officer and cellist, the assistant attorney general of American Samoa, a student, one of the most beautiful cowboys I've ever seen, computer nerds, a pilot/flight instructor, a Brazilian, a mechanic, a beat boxer and gifted musician whose charisma made him one of the most popular boys on BYU campus. I've been in unbelievably amazing relationships and I know those men are out there. I've been in some not-so-great relationships too. I am pretty good at navigating and staying chill.

No, I won't tell the boys that. I am definitely far from perfect. I will simply say: I like the outdoors, I play ultimate, I like music and art, I like food and a smattering of other things. 
I won't kiss you unless I like you and it might throw you for a loop but I do it out of respect. I'm not possessive in relationships. My interests are as varied as my abilities. I get along with almost anyone. I'm curious, ambitious and a dreamer. My passion for life is contagious. It's not my opinion of myself; it's what I am. I'm not what you are looking for, apparently. All I want is someone who is kind and sees me for me. I don't care what you do or how much money you make as long as it makes you happy. 
                                        I don't get it.